My earliest memory of ”people pleasing” is age two and three quarters. As we were waiting for my mom to give birth, my dad asked me if I wanted a baby sister or brother. When I answered “a baby sister,” he asked the question again. I again answered “a baby sister.” After he repeated the question for a third time, I assumed I was getting the answer wrong and changed it to “a baby brother.” This seemed to satisfy him and he quit asking. In reality, I think he may just have been having a hard time hearing and understanding me but my choice to change my “want” to match his before the age of three astounds me.
This mousy personality continued into high school until finally I decided enough was enough. It was in the ninth grade that I set out to find out what I wanted and what I liked. I might have taken this too far when I eventually started telling everyone else how to live their lives too, but after all, they probably needed me too ;-)
Now, I work daily on finding the balance needed to be healthy and to maintain healthy relationships. Recently I found myself acting codependent in a relationship for four days. This is a far cry from the 20+ years I approached life like this in the past. Most days I find the balance and every so often I don’t, but everyday I thank God for the miracle He has worked in my life and the husband he has given me who allows me to keep 50+ pairs of shoes.
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